Seems Fitting.......

Bloodthirsty Evil Terror of Hostility

Poisonous Explorer-Eating Beast from the Underground Gloomy Grotto

Another Spam About MY SEX LIFE!!

If I combine this with the, make your penis 2-4 inches longer,
I could be a fun date for someone..




Ashton gets top billing this time because, well,
HIS COSTUME (especially my make-up job)ROCKS!!!!!
It was trunk-or-treat at daycare Friday night. There was one down town too, but last year there were so many people I feared for my kids safety. So this year we went to the nice controlled environment of daycare. about 12 teachers had their cars in the gates and their trunks decorated and were passing out candy. We are talking each kid got a huge handful at each trunk. (Each parent brought 2 bags of candy per kid to help with this). Then other teachers were doing booths. The fishing booth, face painting, cake walk (she made 225 cup cakes...everyone got a cupcake), beanbag toss, sand digging (for the little ones) and some other stuff. They had a blast. Biggest plus, they were fenced in and you couldn't get in unless you had your daycare lock card, so no weirdos...well except us...hahahaha


Friday Lunch Rant!!

Okay, blogger won't let me post pictures...so I will just be verbal....

Two maybe three things irritated me at lunch today. Well at least things worth mentioning.

Biker chick and I went to Johnny Carino's....SO GOOD...I ate way too much and now I am poping tums like PEZ.

As usual on fridays, I am all pinked out and girly looking and she is biker chicked out in black and looking like the masculine side of a lesibian relationship. I think we both dress like this on fridays just to freak people out when we go to lunch......anyway....

Before I got to the restaurant I had to go by the ATM to get cash. It's a DRIVE UP ATM....did you noticed the DRIVE UP part??? I pull up and there is a lady that drove her car up and then got out to use it. It's not high up or anything....why do people do that????? Then they have to get in the car and leave....but this one....had to look in the mirror, make weird faces, mess with her purse and then start the car and then it took like 8 tries to get the heck out of my way......AAAGGGHHHHH......BANK RAGE!!!!

Next....what is the deal with the mobile tombstones??? Why do people put "IN LOVING MEMORY OF" and the info on their back window??? I just don't get it. I mean I miss those in my life who have passed, but I want them to rest in peace not drive around town with me!!!! If there is a better reason for this, please tell me. Personally, I think it is disrespectful. It's like they are using a loved one's death to get attention. But that is just me!!!

Third....why is the possiblility of lesibians attractive to guys????? When we go to lunch, we get more guys eyeing us than we do when we are apart,........PHIL---explain this to me.....you're a single guy....what is the deal???? I AM NOT attracted to them or by the sight of them....actually I think it's kinda creepy..... The gay guy thing is even creepier....however the guy clerk at PACSUN where I have to get AJ's jeans...know's his stuff.......when I can't find something or have questions, I go find him. But, he is more feminine than I am...which is weird...but it's all in the name of shopping!!!!





I just don't get the whole bathroom issues deal. What is so hard about putting the toilet seat down when you are done??? I put the lid down when I am done, I don't have a problem with it. I live in a house with three boys, needless to say I have a clorax wipes dispenser very near the toilet. My oldest won't lift the seat when he pees. He thinks he has great aim. He gets this from my ex, who wouldn't lift the seat either.

My thought on the matter is (and I've told him this) "You need to lift the seat when you pee unless you are long enough for it to be inside the toilet when you unzip and take it out."

His response..."I am long enough, that's not pee on the seat, it from the splash of it hitting the water!" yep, he is my son!!!

Now Ashton lifts the seat and most of the time he puts the seat and lid down, but not always. He's a good kid. However, he leaves his toothpaste spit in the sink....eeeewwwww. I'm still working on that one.

With Alec, I'm just glad he gets it in the toilet. He thinks he doesn't have to hold on to it. He puts his hands on his hips and bows his back and let's it rip. Which is okay to a point, except when he hears something and he looks the other way or forgets he is peeing and completely turns around. Then I have issues!!! Note: Alec thinks his is a "long powerful sword" he-he-he. He hangs out with his biggest brother way too much!!!!

And the empty toilet paper roll....Why can't AJ replace it???? I mean he gets more TP out but , for some unknown reason, he cannot put it on the holder. What the heck!!!! I mean the hard part is done, why not complete the job???

Don't they realize I am trying to make them good husbands????


I am nerdier than 9% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!



I've been overly weird the last two weeks. I mean I have even been weird for me and let me tell you....that's weird. It's like I have been secertly stressed or something.


This morning, I wake Ashton up and he has a fever. I give him tylenol and then I go back to bed. I forgot to call daycare, I did call work. This is so unlike me. I slept beyond the boys waking up which is not like me at all.

So, time for self analysis.......what has changed??? AJ is working, but not alot so it's not too overwhelming. Meth-man pissed me off a month ago, but I don't think that is it...I mean that is really nothing new.

I just can't think of what the deal is!!!

So here is my new plan of attack--

  1. Wake up at 4:30 am and no laying back down or hitting the snooze
  2. No pony tails to work--(that's my cop out on getting ready)
  3. Will wear earrings (another girl positive thinking dealie)
  4. I will start a load of laundry before I leave..(I'm so far behind)
  5. I will take my lunch instead of skipping lunch
  6. We will not miss the daycare bus no matter what!!!!
  7. No more breakfast burritos (too much starch)
  8. No more sodas of any kind--either tea, water of juice (I'm a pepsi addict)
  9. Boys fed by 6:00 pm no exceptions and McDonald's only once a week. (I've been very lazy the past few weeks....we have all the TAK toys!!)
  10. We will read Harry Potter every night (I've been slacking..only 3 nights a week)
  11. Will fold/hang up and put up all the laundry done that night.
  12. Need to take Sydney for a walk at least 3 times a week.

Somewhere in there I need to work in excerise, but I haven't figured out where.

If you have any ideas or suggestions........tell me....I'm grasping here


Life Issues 101 aka WHY ME!!

I'm having issues today. Lots of weird stuff going on that only have one thing in common....ME!!

Biker chick's husband went through her cell phone bill and found numbers that were not local. She has been meeting men on-line and has already slept with at least two of them. I think her husband is cool and that she is making a big mistake, but I am sure I don't know the whole story so I keep my opinions to myself. I honestly think she has spent too much time in the tanning bed!!!

Our purchasing guy is a POOP HEAD!!! with a capital DICK! I used to think he was just grouchy then yesterday he came down demanding one of our vendor's checks. I told him to be nice and hang on. He informed me that it was not his job to be nice but it was my job to do as he said. HA-HA-HA.... He must not of noticed that when it comes to work I am the biggest female chauvinist pig there is..... So we had a spat, my boss just hid behind his monitor...lol he knew I was on a roll. Needless to say, he still wasn't talking to me today!!!

I had to go buy another spiderman costume yesterday, cause Alec won't take off the other one and it now has a run in it. Oh well, at least it was half price.

Came home yesterday and the yard had an empty brownie box and an empty nutty bar box in it. The boxes were brand new and inside the house when I left that morning. Sydney and her sweet tooth struck again. I was so worried that she might die, the whole chocolate and dog thing, but she is fine...that's good.

AJ is now 6'1" and I had to buy all new jeans cause he was getting high waters....I hated it when my mom made me wear pants that were too short. So there went $150.00 towards enough jeans for me to get through a week without him being mad because there were no clean jeans.

Received a total of 5 letters from meth-man in the last 7 days. It's freaking me out. The weird thing is--he says pretty much the same stuff in every letter. Since our last confrontation, he has quite addressing me in the letters. ha-ha...... If I cared I might laugh more...geesh

I now have 8 zits and I think I am sprouting a unicorn horn....

The dog, Juan Lopez, spewed on my dry clean only bedspread this morning...oh joy!!!

and the worse news of all......I haven't heard PJ's voice since Saturday...I think I'm going through withdrawls....




It Only Happens When I Look Horrible!!!!

I had to go to wal-mart today....again. I just went Friday!!!! It was 1:30 pm and I ran out of laundry soap, so I put on my deck shoes and headed out the door. I had to sneak so the little boys wouldn't hear me and want to go. It's always much more expensive when they go with me, and since AJ was home....I got some alone time.

I was in such a hurry to sneak out, I forgot to put on any make-up and double check my hair. Now it wasn't that bad, but I don't usually go out without make-up!!!

I got about 3/4 done (remembered I needed milk and trash bags too!!!! oh and Count Chocula) and this young lady looks at me and says

"Hi, How have you been doing?"
"I'm fine, how about you?" I say with a half way smile (I have no clue who she is)
"You don't know who I am do you?" and she pointed over to her husband.

It was Brandon!!!!! Meth-man's son!! He is a really cool kid and I think he is about 22 or 23. His mother got a cool divorce, way back then, that forbid Michael to have anything to do with Brandon till he was over 18. When we split up, meth-man contacted him. He finally met his dad, thought he was cool for the first 3 weeks and then realized he was a loser. But we are still friends. His wife is wonderful and their little girl is 2-1/2 and Mandy (his wife) is expecting another one on December 23rd.

We talked for about 30 minutes in the cereal isle of wal-mart. I got to hug his daughter and we exchanged phone numbers so we can get together. He works for a dialysis center in Cortez, Colorado. He used to work for the one here, but they didn't pay very well. Two Christmases ago, I tracked him down to give him a Christmas present from Ashton and Alec. We got ready to leave, I hugged him and I whispered in his ear in a teary voice:

"Don't ever be mad at your mother for what she did concerning your
dad. She did the right thing for you. She is a very strong woman"

I know he must of thought I was freaking out, but I just wanted him to know that his mom did the right thing. When meth-man and I were together, I never understood her coldness--much has changed!!

Anyway, picture this.....I have on a sports bra, so I am semi sagging, hair in a scrunchie, bangs semi curled, no make up...don't forget the remains of the six zits from yesterday.... shorts.....neon-white legs, deck shoes no socks....BUT HEY, AT LEAST I DID HAVE MY LEGS SHAVED, and some weird shirt I got for $1 that I do house work in. My wasn't I a pretty picture.....

But oh well, it was fun visiting.

I see a lot of his dad in his looks but not in his personality or attitude. He is a really good kid and his mother did do what was best for him.

Why is it that you only see people at the store when you aren't all made up and looking perfect?? Why can't you run into old friends when you are having a killer hair day, good make up and no drip stains on your chest???


Great, What's Next--Stuffing My Bra!!

Woke up this morning feeling pretty good. I actually got to sleep in till 7:33 am. Woo-Hoo!!!! I go in the kitchen and turn on the coffee pot, check the dogs water and head to the bathroom to comb my hair up into a ponytail and get it out of my face......

AND WHAT DO I SEE IN THE MIRROR????? ZITS!!! 6 of them and one of them was so big I could of counted it as two!!!! I might of even been able to breathe out of it!!!

Just Horrible!!

Oh My Gosh!!! What is going on ???? I'm a grown woman, I don't wake up to zit-fests anymore!!!! UnFair!!!! So, I try to sneak into the teenager's room and get his acne stuff. And of course, he catches me.

"Mom, what are you doing?"
"Um--getting your face wash, go back to sleep it's still early"
"Why do you want that?"

I turn around.....He laughs loudly and for a long time might I add. Then....Then.....he says he wants to squeeze them!!!! I run for the bathroom, but he gets his foot in the door before I can get it closed....and reaches for my face. I'm screaming and pushing on the door.....

Then, I grab the hairspray....
"Get out or I will spray you!!!"
"You wouldn't, I'm your first born"
"Try me zit squeezer!!!"

Whew!! he backed off, still laughing but in his room. I have heard every zit joke there is this morning, thank goodness he had to go to work!!!


And the Dogs Shall Feast!!!! (well, kinda)

But this time, she is supposed to be eating it!!!!
Alec was home sick today which means I was too (home that is not sick), so I decided to make the pasta, cheese and ham casserole for dinner!!!!
So Yummy!!!
(in the traditional version of course)
I had the ham, cream of mushroom soup, and some shredded cheese in a bowl just waiting for the pasta to get done cooking. I was stirring the pasta when Alec came in and wanted to help stir. Well of course he can't help with the pasta because it is too hot, so I give him a spoon and let him stir the mixture. All is going well, then I realized that I had forgot to put some ranch dressing in the mixture, so I went to the fridge grabbed the bottle and squeezed some in the bowl and told Alec to stir it up really good. He was very happy to do so. I was stirring the pasta and the phone rang. I put my spoon down and went to go get it, come back and the pasta is ready. So I tell Alec to get off the stool because I had to drain the hot water off. No problem, not even a whimper. Drain the pasta, combine it with the mixture and dump into a casserole dish. Alec helps me top it with shredded cheese and into the oven it goes. Then he says..
"I'm cookin', huh mama"
"Yes, you are and you were a big help!!"
His little eyes light up and he runs off to watch the rest of "Robots" Buzzer goes off, I open the oven door and there is a weird smell. Not sure what it was....hhhmmmmmm I open the drawer to get out the hot pad holder and I get out a trivet and put it on the counter. I noticed the mustard bottle was on the counter. HHmmmmm...I didn't make sandwiches today.
"Alec, why is this out???" Holding up the mustard jar.
"What mom?" running into the kitchen wearing his spiderman costume
"Why is this mustard out?"
"I cookin' like you!!"
"You're cooking??"
"Yeah, like you" (flash back...the ranch dressing)
"Did you put this in the bowl that you were cooking?"
"Yeah, like you but mine was white!!" (explains the weird smell)
"Well, thank you. I am sure it will be yummy!"
He runs back into the front room. I tried it.....eeeewwwwwwww
So the dogs got it, they didn't eat much of it either,
I guess they aren't big fans of mustard!!



Well, since it would be obvious which one was me...
....here I am.... Man, I was cute!!!

Okay....now name that baby!!!!!




Here are the men now.....the order above is not the same order as below.

..duh what fun would that be




I apologize for the blurry and dark pictures, they are actually pictures of pictures. Since I moved I can't find the adapter to my scanner. A new adapter costs more than a new scanner.....so......

The Green Eye

How does one deal with jealously??? or envy??

Last year we hired a lady, let's call her "Cackle Woman". She started off making as much as I was and I had been there a year. But she was in a different department so I really thought nothing of it. Since then she has gotten a raise and makes $2.00 more dollars an hour more than I do. We have also paid for her to take 6 Mircosoft Excel classes. She had to repeat each one. I teach these classes, just not the ones she attended. So now, today as I am processing payroll....she got another $0.75 per hour raise. I have seen her work load and what she has to do, and it is actually smaller and less complicated than mine. Actually, I spend at least 6 hours a week correcting her errors. Yet she makes more than I do. I just don't get it and it's starting to irritate me. I don't go to the same church as all the people that work here and she does, but that shouldn't matter. I just don't know....I'm whining....sorry....

So, how do I deal with this jealousy??? It's really not in my character to be petty and bitch about it. And because I am in payroll, I shouldn't. I wouldn't know about the raises if I wasn't in payroll. JUST PISSES ME OFF!!!!

I mean if I was out with my man and he admired another woman, it doesn't bother me. Most of the time I would probably think she was pretty as well. But I guess my competitive side is more on the intellectual level. (although, sometimes with my spelling you couldn't tell). I pride myself in the quality of work I produce and I think I should be properly compensated for it.

Just Quit!!! you say....welll there is more....

Since I am a single parent, there are times that I have to be gone from work. Sick kids, school functions, doctor's appointment stuff like that. The business I work for is very family orientated. It is a blessing, they don't mind if I have to be gone as long as my work gets done. I even get to invoice from home via the internet for extra hours. So, I am twice if not three times blessed there. Which I guess is better than only getting 40 or 45 hours per week.

I guess I should look at the big picture and not just the payrate field.

You have helped me so much, thanks for being there and explaining all of this to me!!!!


My Virgin Eyes

Oh my, I have never seen one of these in person in my real or not so real life.......

Wow...can you imagine losing one of those!!!! Cheese and Rice!!!!

Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts

Yes, they sound disgusting, in fact I think they are. But Mr. Alec is now addicted.

We ran out of that particular flavor yesterday and I hadn't been to the store to replace them. He opened up the cupboard to get his driving snack and got very angry.

"Mom, where's my cookie dough?"
"We ran out, I'll get some at Wal-Mart today."
"Go to Wal-Mart NOW!!!"
"We can't go now, we have to go to school."
"I want to go to Wal-Mart NOW!!!" (cupboard door slams)
"No, school here is your chocolate milk."
"I hate chocolate milk, I hate school, I HATE!!" I just looked at him and turned off the kitchen light and headed for the door. He slowly headed that way. We got in the car and headed for daycare.

"Mom, what's that?" (pointing to the cherry pop-tarts I had in the front seat.
"Cherry pop tart, do you want some they are yummy"
"Let me see..." I hand it to him and he looks at it and hands it back
"It's not cookie dough"
"No it's cherry and it's mine...yummy"
"Can I have one?"
"Do you want the other one?"
"Yes, Please!" he takes it.

We get to daycare and I get him out of the car and we walk in, he sees his teacher.

"Amanda, my underwear is biting me!!"

All the teachers are laughing and so the day starts.



It's that time of the year again, time for Southerland Farms Annual Pumpkin Patch. But this year there was an added plus!!! DramaMama and DramaKid went with us. So much fun!!!!

Here is our trip:


Alec in front of the measuring Scare Crow

Ashton in front of the measuring scare crow making fish face

DramaKid in front of the scare crow thinking my kids are too weird.





IT'S ALMOST LIKE VISITING THEIR DAD (ass in a cage) hehehe


Of course, the barrell train (Y2K water barrells finally put to good use)


We missed the tractor the first go around cause Alec couldn't find just the right pumpkin....so we were left to entertian ourselves till the tractor came back....(see below)


And Finally...PJ, honey, this one is for you!!


100 Things About Me

  1. I am a Gemini (yes there are two of me, very scary thought)
  2. Every 4 years my birthday is on Memorial Day
  3. I have been married twice
  4. I have never been proposed to
  5. or had a "real wedding dress"
  6. or a formal wedding
  7. or had a honeymoon for that matter
  8. I was the one who moved out and filed for both divorces
  9. My past taste in men sucks, but I am working on it
  10. The first time I got pregnant was on Valentine's Day and I was 17 and a senior in high school
  11. I got pregnant in a jeep in the middle of what is now a sub-division, with his dog drooling on me (such a romantic he was)
  12. My parents didn't know I was pregnant till I was 6-1/2 months along (my mom got mad and my dad didn't)
  13. I have only been drunk twice in my life. I can't remember one and the other time was with a sheriff's deputy.
  14. I egged Kyle Buller's house 6 times in high school (sorry Kyle I hope it didn't hurt your mom or your dog)
  15. I sucked Greg Soukup's belly button my Jr. year. He had really weird fetishes.
  16. My 10th grade swimming coach was a Lesbian
  17. So was my 8th grade PE teacher
  18. My first kiss was when I was in 8th grade by a 7th grader
  19. Despite their enormous size, I didn't get my boobs till 10th grade
  20. I have been 5'8" since 9th grade
  21. My first car was a 1979 Volkswagen Rabbit (46 miles to the gallon--woo hoo)
  22. I still live in the town where I was born
  23. I don't like my brother as much as I pretend too
  24. I have been shooting guns since I was 6 years old
  25. I want to turkey hunt with a bow
  26. I want to go on a Cruise that lasts more than 1 day
  27. I have never been on a snow mobile
  28. I can't sing in tune or even get close to in tune
  29. I pratice singing every day at a very loud volume (keeps people out of my office)
  30. I never had a crush on Matt Dillion, Rob Lowe or Scott Baio
  31. I was only spanked once by my dad and that was when I was 8 and got caught going to 7 to 11 when he told me no.
  32. I used to pretend I was Marie Osmound and Rusty Anderson was Donny Osmound when he was at his grandparent's house. We would roller skate around the back porch and sing "I'm a little bit country" (hehehehe)
  33. I don't open Christmas presents till Christmas Day after Santa Clause comes
  34. I teach Microsoft classes at our local community college
  35. I have never taken a Microsoft class in my life
  36. I have been to both Disneyland and DisneyWorld and want to take my kids to both
  37. I have been to Carlsbad Caverns
  38. I saw the Grand Canyon for the first time in March, 2005
  39. I have walked on the lake bed of Lake Powell
  40. I always get lost at least once on road trips
  41. I have never been arrested
  42. I have a thing for police men or ex police men (it's the attitude not the uniform)
  43. I like men that are thick chested
  44. I can't stand for anyone to mess with my feet
  45. I walk with my toes curled under (have no idea why, always have though)
  46. I love the color Pink (I know this is a shock to some of you)
  47. I love carnations
  48. I want to move to another state or at least another city I just don't know where yet
  49. In 7th grade I had braces, glasses and a FRO ...I was such a geek
  50. I played the flute in jr. high and high school
  51. I have never nude sun bathed
  52. I never went to prom...ever
  53. The first and only time I went to a tanning bed, I burned my breasts so bad that they cracked and drained oil for 4 months.
  54. I breast fed all three of my boys but only for a short period of time
  55. I have never been a stay at home mom, although I would love to be one
  56. I stole a copy of my English final in 12th grade
  57. I like the Chicago Bears
  58. And the Miami Dolphins
  59. I was a baseball park brat, and now I don't really care for baseball
  60. I run worse than a girl...it's a sad sight
  61. I struck out at T-Ball when I was in 4th grade
  62. I do 3 loads of laundry a day
  63. I have never skinny dipped, but would love to someday
  64. I have a fear of open water
  65. I love to swim
  66. I flashed, from the 5th floor dorm window, some college students at ENMU when I was in 10th grade.
  67. I peroxided my hair like the boys in "The Outsiders" in 8th grade and my parents never noticed.
  68. I don't have any tattoos
  69. I have only had my ears pierced--nothing else
  70. Porn films don't excite me
  71. But hockey and football do
  72. I don't like prissy men with soft hands
  73. I am more accepting of Lesbian sex then I am of gay guy sex
  74. Although I don't want to watch or participate in either one
  75. I have never kissed a girl nor do I want too
  76. I have never been part of a multiple partner sex adventure-nor do I want too
  77. I am starting to like country music
  78. I still like the Go-Go's
  79. I like Anne Rice's old books, don't care too much for the new ones
  80. I am terrified of WereWolves
  81. The scariest book I have ever read was "quarrel With The Moon"
  82. The only Stephen King book I like is "The Stand"
  83. I didn't get baptized until I was 31 years old
  84. I would love to have another baby, but I am scared too
  85. I want to go to Europe and Australia some day
  86. I like cemataries and reading the tombstones
  87. I love history
  88. Lady Jane Grey or Queen Jane is one of my idols
  89. I remember Princess Di and Prince Charles' wedding and watching it on TV for months.
  90. I was a Rainbow Girl when I was younger
  91. I am a member of The Order of Eastern Star
  92. I love animals
  93. I love to go to zoos
  94. I have a magnet collection on my fridge
  95. I do not have a college degree
  96. I can drive both a automatic and a stick transmissioned vehicles
  97. I don't know how to snow ski
  98. I have never been water skiing
  99. I don't want to be rich, but not having to always worry about money would be nice.
  100. I can't wait to fall in love and live happily ever after


Go Team........
Today is the 3 years anniversary of when I filed for
divorce from meth-man.

You can see me on my blog......and here he is with his new bride......
(I'm being tacky and proud of it)


A New Look--Breast Implants Not Needed!!!

Yes, this is a new look for me. I or we (purepixel) are working out a few bugs, so please be patient with the links and such.

However, if you do find a glitch....please let me know so it can get got.

I had a comment on my previous blog that asked what would the female gender equivalent of a"penis extension". What a very good question. It could be breast implants, but that is really not a "sex" organ. Even though some men, (jammies), find breasts extremely arousing (jammies). So what would it be???

(warning: this is going to get weird, those weak of heart
or sense of humor should stop reading now)
I have been thinking about this and I am guessing it would depend on the partner you are with. With men, there is really only one part unless of course it is a man that likes his exit door visited. Then, well, I don't really know how they would enhance that.
Some women enhance everything, we are talking collagen lips (the ones on the face...geesh you guys are as bad as me) well, come to think of it I think I read somewhere where there were implants down there as well. Ewwwwww, can you just imagine going in for your quarterly collagen injection with your feet in the stir-ups. NO THANK YOU!!!!
Why are big lips attractive??? (Again the one's on the face.) To me they would be all slobbery and messy.....oh...never mind just answered my own question.
Breast implants are very odd to me. I mean I don't need them (jammies don't say it) and even if I did, I don't think I would want them. They are a lot of hassle. Then when you get older...eeewwww. Just think of what Pamela will look like in about 10 years. She will either have to keep getting them lifted or push them around in a wheel barrel. And honestly, if a guy did a face plant on her chest he would just bounce right back. They can't be soft and gooshy like the real thing. They are more like those hippty-hops that were around when we were kids.
I guess the only other enhancement on a woman would be a "wall thicken-er". To enhance you have to add, correct???? So, the ad could be (following the non-gender specific example sent to me)...."Patrick, how would you like to have your vagina 2-4 inches tighter?"....ha-ha... so that would mean the pill or whatever would cause major water retention??? eeewwwwww
What about the piercing stuff. Gross!!!!!! I just don't get it, and I don't want too. I realize that some people like all the piercing, but I had a hard enough time getting my ears pierced the second time let alone go spread eagle in front of some bald tattoo'd guy with a hallow needle. And what if there was an infection!!! Is it like normal piercing and you have to twist the earring several times a day, how would you do that??? How would you pee????
What about male piercing below the belt. I'm not even a guy and I'll say it...OUCH!!!!!. I've seen pictures but never anything in person, thank goodness. I don't see how this could be attractive or stimulating. I would think the girl would say (going in) hhmm...what's that....and then on the reverse motion...ouch...that poked me...in a non-sexually needed or wanted kind of way. I mean the earring or penis stud..(he-he) has a post and a back on it right???? What if it gets caught or tangled up??? Explain that one to the medics or the lady manning the 911 phones.
"Um yes, I have a problem"
"Please state your emergency"
"Uh...I'm stuck, I mean my ear ring is stuck...I mean my penis piercing is stuck"
"Stuck where sir?"
"Um...in my partner or it could be on my partner, I'm not sure I can't see down there right now"
When they arrive, how will you answer the door???? Most of the time it's locked when you are doing things like this right???
I am digressing from my original point...sorry.......I had a bloggers whim and I followed it.....
I guess I am just an old fashion girl when you get down to it. I like the one male and one female relationships.
Here is my new motto:
Kinky is using a feather
Perverted is using the whole chicken!


What's with all the SPAM?? (and not the lunchmeat)

Elizabeth, would you like your penis to be 2-4 inches longer?

um....NO!!!!! I don't have a penis, are they offering extensions??? I mean can they at least send me gender appropriate spam??

I don't think that little blue pill they are offering will help me, but I did forward it to a guy in my office. He saw no humor in it. Maybe I should forward him the larger penis one???? I bet that would go over well.

And...I've put some thought into this one!!! If, for some reason, a guy did have an erection that lasted for more than 4 hours exactly what would you say at the emergency room or when you call 911?? Think about this.....

And what is the deal with nail fungus all of a sudden????

"Rosa28" wants me in a chat room so she can talk nasty to me....Go Team!!! that is just what I want. Some hairy, mole infested chick telling me how she wants to be "done". I won't even get into the cyber sex thing on this one. That is a whole blog, maybe four, all in its own.

I got one today and the memo line said...."Elizabeth, going to a haloween party? in Farmington, NM" They could of at least used their spell check...


I really love the one that says my e-bay account is about to be deleted. I don't have an e-bay account. I know...I know I am probably the only American that is actively on the internet that does not have an E-bay account. That is such a "feeler" e-mail.

I deleted all my "bulk" mail yesterday at 7:45 pm, I checked it at 9:12 pm today and I had...are you ready......1,843.

p.s. I just opened my blog using Internet Explorer, I usually use the MSN browser, I hate the way that "single" and "love" and probably "penis" (I didn't check that one) instantly become hyper links to some on line dating/sex/creep on line service.

Brief Look At The Depths of Motherhood

How do moms keep going??? I mean I have gone without sleep for 3 days, due to a sick child, how do we do these things?? Who knows, but I do know that Starbucks helps a lot!!!!

Is it worry? Is it a sense of duty? What is that drive? Maybe all of the above. I guess it depends on how strong willed you are. Personally, I am as stubborn as a mule so my drive is pretty strong. When I have a siren on my head....stand back.

And how come some moms have it and some moms don't?? Are they born with it or is it taught? I think it is both. You are born with the ability to care, but then you need to be taught to recognize this ability and how to use it.

I don't understand meth-moms and what they do to their unborn babies and/or the children they have. I do understand that meth is addictive, but how could it be more powerful than the love for a child, their own child?? I know I would do anything for my children. I have and still will done with out or found some way to give them what they need. They don't have everything they want, but they do not do without.

When I was about 12 I joined the Masonic organization called "The International Order of Rainbow for Girls". It's overall purpose was to teach young girls how to live right and give them some social skills. I memorized all kinds of lectures and didn't learn much from them at the time. But now that I am older, I see where their lessons have affected my life, instilled subconscious morals or a sense of goodness. Church can do the same thing. For some reason "Rainbow" had a greater impact on my life.

Anyway, where I am going with this little blurb, there was a lecture called "The Rose Lecture". It was a tribute to mother's. I gave this lecture once and I had an teary audience, I didn't understand why they were so emotional. That is until I had a child of my own, and when I had Alec and had problems, I really understood it.

One part of it goes ".......In time, your mother placed her hand in God's and walked along the still waters of death to give you life...." Okay...I'm tearing up just writing it.

I have heard that some women are born to be mothers and some are not. It just seems that a lot of those who aren't keep having kids they don't want. (I don't want to get into the politics of this situation.) I just don't see how they can look at that precious gift and neglect it.

Children are such a miracle and a joy, I thank God every day for mine. Even when they are screaming in my ear and jumping in the middle of my stomach.


A Moment of Silence.........

Even super heros need to take a nap every now and then.....

Bought Halloween costumes Friday at Wal-Greens. Alec has the "muscle enhanced" spiderman and Ashton has the "Scream" costume. They of course had to put them on in the car, couldn't even wait to get home. Alec wore his last night and to sleep in and then all day today....and has finally crashed.

His pillow in the middle of the front room floor is an old Cookie Monster house shoe that is now a dog toy.

I hope the costume will last for another 2 weeks till Halloween. He has flex in front of the mirror countless times. He likes his big muscles and now he has "big udders too!!!!"

He is quite buff in his suite. Big muscles and a little baby butt!!!!!

and of course we have to have our Halloween Oreo's to keep our strength up!!!

We need our super strength to fight over a shoe string with our big brother Ashton.

I hope he sleeps all night!!!