What a Monday....

Well....it was this time

I really avoid that....although I know I shouldn't.

The nurse had a nervous laugh thing going on which was just creepy. On the question sheet it asked about sexual partners...she looked at what I put and just looked at me funny. (don't you guys wish you knew what I put on there) I thought they were supposed to help make you not feel self conscious. Then, during the breast exam the doctor said "It takes longer on well-endowed women" I replied...."well I've always had these so I really didn't think about it." DUH!!

Anyway when the horrible part got there I'm looking up at the ceiling and the stupid poster up there has different sayings Here were the two that stood out...

"Be Delicious" (oh sure....pry me open like a clam and you want me to be Delicious)

"You are in control" (not right now I'm not)

Then why is it that they scrap until you flinch??? One time I was trying to be strong and didn't flinch for like 3 minutes...but the second I did they stopped. So this time I counted to 10 and fake a flinch.....and it WORKED!!! YEAH FOR FAKING!!!

and doesn't this look like fun.....

Looks like sex toy/peep show/black man......or like "Slick" from what he claims......

HOW WAS YOUR MONDAY??

What a Monday....

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2007/04/what-monday.html

Turning Over A New Leaf

NO NOT THAT ONE!!!

someone might go blind!!

• We have the whole new healthy protein based family diet going on.
• I have decided that I need to do something about the extra "fluff" on my body so I am doing Billy Blanks. Well not him personally or physically but his tae-bo work out stuff. I'm gonna be at my ideal weight!!!
• Started jogging well actually fast walking right now every morning around 5AM. There are less people out to laugh at me at that time!!!
• I'm gonna be happy no matter what!! My depressed mood is affecting and effecting my children and I can't allow that. So sad things are being pushed to the bottom dealt with or not and I am pushing thru.

Okay...those are my mini goals. I did go walking fast this morning. I felt great all morning until some office person got moody and then I just sat and stared at my screen.

I also played virtual greeting card tag with the contractor guy. I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks and it was fun, until it suddenly stopped. I know he probably got busy but my loneliness is overwhelming at times. I need to learn to not take what people say to heart and realize that most of the time sweet words are just ways of flirting not true reflections of what they truly mean or feel. Just because I say what I mean or feel and am honest about it all doesn't mean that everyone is that way. I just need to chill--I'm working on it.

What is the purpose of a FWB?? I mean can you tell me that women can have a sexual relationship with a guy and not get emotionally attached in some degree?? I don't think either partner can actually do that....but who knows. I need to be schooled in modern life I guess.

I cancelled the trip to Vegas due to Alec's blood sugar issues. But my boys will see Hoover Dam in the year 2007!!! As Bob as my witness they will!!

I think we will take a overnight trip to Albuquerque next week during spring break. It will be just me and the little boys--AJ doesn't want to go there. I called their dad to see if there was a night that we could all have dinner or something short and simple. He now wants to skip some of his classes and hang out the entire time we are there.

I told him no. He said why. I basically told him that this is my vacation too and my idea of a vacation is not hauling my ex-husband and his wife around all over Albuquerque and being made to feel uncomfortable in my own vehicle!!! He didn't get it. I guess he thinks I should feel privileged to be seen with him or something. Or maybe because I am still alone I should just accept my place. I don't know.....but I do know that I am not spending all day with him and methwife on MY vacation. I will do one meal for the boys sake.

When O'Gherkin and I were on speaking terms I told him that if I ever get married again I will have a real wedding dress. (I've never had one) and he actually understood. I've told other guys that and hey just look at me like I'm talking like the teacher from Peanuts. It's funny that the people that truly understand you are the ones you get in the most fights with. You know each other so well that you can push the buttons or do like I did and avoid the fight and hide.

Okay...I think my flashback is over........I'm gonna watch CSI Las Vegas

PEACE OUT!!

Turning Over A New Leaf

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2007/03/turning-over-new-leaf.html

Stop This Ride--I Want To Get Off!!!

Happy thought first....I got my laptop back!!! YEAH!!!

But now I have to reinstall EVERYTHING!!! boo!!

Medium Roller Coaster Ride

Still don't have the results of Alec's blood tests. His blood sugar was 42 Monday morning, which isn't good, so I called the doctor and they never called me back. I called again late Monday and she said the test results weren't back I told her that wasn't why I was calling and then we talked about the blood sugar. It was the nurse of course and she said she would call me back Tuesday after she talks to the doctor. She did call back Tuesday and they want to send Alec to a specialist in Albuquerque that deals with metabolism. An Endocrinologist.

The glucose meter I bought was an off brand so I asked if they could write a prescription for a better one so the insurance would pay for it and the supplies. They did and we have a better one that doesn't hurt when you poke yourself to get the blood out and it doesn't take as much blood. The readings seem much more accurate. I think alot of my worries were due to a faulty meter. I bought it new but it wasn't one of the high dollar ones. That's what I get for trying to be conservative I guess. Lesson learned.

WEIRD ROLLER COASTER

I got a call Friday at work about 1:35 pm.

"Hello, this is police and fire dispatch is this Elizabeth Bridges?"

"Yes"

"Do you live at #$%^ North Bla Blah Street?"

"Yes"

"Is your phone number 555-5555?"

"Yes"

"Ma'am there has been an incident at your house and police officers are on the scene we need you to go home. What kind of vehicle do you drive?"

"Blue Santa Fe. Can you tell me what happened?"

"No Ma'am I can't how long will it take you to get home?"

"About 10 minutes"

"I will let the officers know. Thank you" hang up.

First thought in my head. AJ dead on the bed with gun shot to the head. I grab my purse and head home. I'm freaking. I have two guns at home and AJ has one. Was there a teen fight??? Calm down Beth, maybe someone just drove into your back yard. I can't call my parents they would be more hassle than help. I figure out someone to call and of course no answer, it's the middle of the day everyone is working. I do text him and he calls me as I am meeting the police officer.

Some teenager had the holy crap beaten out of him. The police had received reports of a bloody teen in different locations around Farmington High School which is kinda close by. Then they had a call about someone throwing a rock thru a beauty salon window that is pretty close to my house. Then they had a 911 call from my house. The beaten teen came in thru my back gate that the roofers left unlocked last week. Came in thru Handsome's doggie door and the door from the garage to the house had been left unlocked. He came in called 911 and then waited. He didn't take the cash on the counter, still the Xboxes or anything. As I pull up, the ambulance is driving off, there are 4 police cars, one ladder fire truck and a blue ambulance thing. I have no idea what it was. My neighbors must just love me. Been here 6 months and I must look like a drama case.... I am glad that nothing happened to my kids or my house and I am sorry that the mystery teen had to result to what he did in order to get help. I still think he could of went into 7 to 11 and asked them to call 911. But when beaten and scared, one doesn't always think logically.

Freak me out ride

My boss at work has made three references about me not being married yet in the last 2 weeks. They aren't mean, they are usually like "Beth, I don't know why you aren't married yet your fun to be around." or "You are so accepting of male actions (meaning burping and gross stuff) why aren't you married?"

HELL IF I KNOW!!!

Is what I wanted to say, but I just shrugged my shoulders and kept working. I get it from my kids wanting a guy to hang with and to call a dad. I get it from work. And I sometimes get it from myself. Difficult to meet new people if you don't go anywhere but work. There is the contractor guy....... so I guess I will just let life ride and see what happens.

How was your week???

Stop This Ride--I Want To Get Off!!!

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2007/03/stop-this-ride-i-want-to-get-off.html

Who Knows.......

Did you know if you image google "weird shit" this is the first entry???

I will confess, I didn't know what a camel toe was until about 2 years ago...the teen had to explain it to me. He has also had to explain to me what a "sancho" was. Did I spell that right??? Methhead used to always refer to "sancho" (I don't think that's spelled right) and I didn't know what point he was trying to make until 2 years after our divorce. Not like it would of mattered.....but now I just laugh at his stupidness and I'm glad to be done with him in that capacity.

However, this Sunday--we are making the trip again. The boys haven't seen their dad since December but basketball season and the weather has prohibited us in making the 6 hour round trip. Hopefully it will be nice and we can do something fun in the public eye. I hate being seen in public with the jerk--but that is the only place I know he will semi behave. Hopefully his woman will have to work so I don't have to deal with all of her motherly advice. Like she has a clue both of her children have been legally taken from her due to her drug and mental problems. But she did take a parenting class in prison......ha

Now that I've touched on parenting.......A girl I work with lost her kids on January 25th. Their father had them for what was supposed to be a short visit and pulled some crap with the tribal court (they are both Navajo) and the stupid judge gave him temporary custody. Without a hearing or anything...the judge just signed the paper and he took the kids back to his home in Las Vegas, Nevada. She freaked and for 2 weeks she stressed and prepared for her hearing. The court gave them back to her, but their dad did not. He never returned them. Now dealing with Tribal Court is different than our NM courts. Things take longer and there really isn't a "checks and balances" system in place. So 1 week after she was awarded her kids she finally got a copy of the order that she gets them back. Being the strong headed females we are.....ROADTRIP!!! Yep, we left Farmington about 8 pm on a Thursday night and drove. She is a very mild person and not very out spoken...that is slowly changing especially after spending 18+ hours with me in a car and working in the same office with me everyday. Unfortunately, we didn't get her kids back that day....but we did get court papers for Vegas to file for future reference and we found out where the poophead lives...and payed him a visit. WHAT A FREAKIN' WUSS....Alec could take him in one kick!! I learned that not all people have that "survivor" instinct built it. It can be taught to some and others are just hopeless. She is not hopeless...just has a lot of learning ahead of her. She had court again on the 19th and she did get her kids back and there will be another hearing. I cannot imagine being without my kids for 3 weeks!!!

I have a new appreciation for what I have. I may question some things and don't understand them.....but I don't want to live without the feelings of love, happiness, understanding and security. We should never take those feelings for granted or the people who help us feel this way.

WoW....that was deep

Who Knows.......

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2007/02/who-knows.html

Random Bugg-y-ness

Okay.....they are still working on the bathroom....but it looks BEAUTIFUL!!!!

I will post final pictures hopefully Saturday.

Overly random thoughts have been going thru my head...and of course I have to share:

When looking for "the perfect mate" what do or did you look for????

With AJ's dad--my parents "forbid" (they used that exact word) me to see him....so of course I had to get pregnant.

With methhead.....he seemed sweet but was a social rebel. At the time AJ and I were living with my parents and they had pretty much clipped my wings and he was a breath of fresh air and AJ liked him too....

Now that I am out on my own and it's just me and the boys--I think I am looking for something more like my father....that is so weird!!! Someone that I feel safe with. Someone understanding of my stress moments and someone that won't use my weak or confused moments against me at a later time. I mean we all have bad days....if your with someone shouldn't they understand that??? and not make it worse but try to comfort you or at least try to cheer you up? And if they are having a bad day....shouldn't you do the same??? I am a big believer in the rules work both ways. And if you insist on someone doing something then you should also have to do it. In a non perverted sense of course. I mean like talking about things and being understanding and patient and that kind of jizz jazz. Is that asking too much???

Or do I have such a "fairy tale" vision on a relationship that I will always screw it up trying to make it perfect......or at least trying to understand and make it fair

I need input......help a bugg out....

p.s. I have no idea how that crab is related to this....but it is a way cool picture AND NO SLICK I DON'T HAVE CRABS....thank you very much

Random Bugg-y-ness

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2007/02/random-bugg-y-ness.html

FIRST OFF...

STOP SPAMMING MY COMMENTS...WHO EVER YOU ARE!!!!

Okay, I feel much better now.

Well, my most unfavorite time of the year is fast approaching and will be here in 11 days. I seriously doubt I will be posting again till after that.

I will spare everyone my weirdness and just not blog....

See y'all in two weeks......

PEACE OUT

FIRST OFF...

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2007/02/first-off.html

I can't even think of a great title...other than I'm still whining

My icky week continued thru the weekend. Saturday morning (8:00 am)we went to Alec's game and it was good. He even kinda paid attention and only did 3 karate moves on the court the whole game!!!! They don't keep score on the little ones, but I think it was pretty close.

I got home and my pellet stove was making this horrible squeaking noise. I went to take the back off of it to see what it was and all the threads on it were cross-threaded and stuck so it took me forever. Finally got that done and wrote down the auger motor numbers and headed to "Raindrops" which is a stove and spa place. Talked to one guy who looked at me like I was from Mars and then another guy came up an knew what I was talking about. But they don't service that brand of stoves. I did take in my manual and showed him the layout of the stove. He said that "Englands Stoves" could only be repaired in the factory and I would have to mail it to Canada. LIKE HELL!!! I could buy a new stove cheaper than doing all of that. So, I am researching their website now to look for an auger motor. While I was there I asked him about cleaning the chimney on it. Since the people I bought this house from told me nothing, I'm a total worm when it comes to the pellet stove. We found the brush and the stick to clean it out and then he told me how the chimney pipe should have a clean out and he showed me how it worked. I got home and it did have a cleanout. I took the bottom off and a ton of crap came out. Then I looked at the top vent dealie and it look just flat out nasty. Pellet stove have some gross residue. I got it all cleaned up and then I headed for the shower cause I still had to coach Ashton's game. About half way thru my shower the bathroom door opened and I heard

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" in a rather snotty voice--It was my mom.
"I'm taking a shower. I will be out in a minute." I said in a rather irritated voice.

She shut the door and I finished rinsing out the conditioner from my hair. I get to take one non-rushed shower a week and she totally ruined it. Oh well.

Now as I have a towel on my head and one wrapped around me I walk out into my room, thinking my mother would be in the living room with the boys.....WRONG. She was standing right outside the bathroom door holding a Target bag. She held it out too me and asked "Did I get the right tea kettle?" While trying to keep my towel around my body I looked in the bag and inspected the bottom of the boxed tea kettle and told her yes. She said okay and left. As she walked down the hall she mummered "I don't know why anyone would want to take a shower in the middle of the day." Must of been one of her not so good or nice days.

The game went well, they don't keep score on them either but the teen said it was 18 to 20...we lost but it was a really good game!!!!! We go by my parents to pick up Alec (impossible to watch that beastie and keep him out of trouble and coach a game) my dad answers the door and said my mom has fallen to pieces cause the checks she ordered haven't come in yet. He is not very sympathetic to her moods. So I go find her and she is crying and said that everything she touches goes bad.....I just looked at her and said "Mom, it's been doing that to me for over 3 years....you'll get used to it" She just looked at me weird and I helped her hang up the clothes.

Then my dad came up and said they had no groceries in the house and wanted to know if I could take her to wal-mart cause his back was hurting....this was at 3:45 pm. We drive to wal-mart while the little boys stay with my dad. She got lost 3 times in wal-mart mainly due to all the people and them getting between us. She stood in front of the eggs and just stared. I got my purse and went over there and started talking to her and opening cartons finally found one that didn't have any broken ones and asked her if she thought they looked okay. She just shrugged her shoulders and took them. Did you know that wal-mart carries Grade A eggs and the grocery store carries Grade AA eggs?...... Finally get her home at 6:33 pm and groceries unloaded and then I get to go home and unload my groceries.

This morning my mom called around 10:30 am and said my dad can't get out of bed. Thursday he was having muscle spasms in his neck and went to the chiropractor. Seem to be getting better but this morning it was on the other side of his neck. I got over there, cleared out everything from around his side of the bed and got him to his feet. He could walk but very very slow. He got in the shower and stuff and seemed to be doing better, so I left. About 4 pm ish Alec and I walked over there to take them some cheese cake made from the filling mentioned in the previous post. He was in his recliner and I had to help him up to get him to the table. I honestly think he needs to be moving more instead of just laying there, but he wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell him. Then I went to take their trash cans to the curb because tomorrow is trash day and I just about killed myself on all the ice in there side yard. So when I went in I told them I was going to get some rock salt at the store and would be right back. Salted the walk way and then my dad's oxygen was on empty so I changed it out and headed home.

As I type Ashton is talking to meth-head on the phone.......I hate it when Ashton is excited to talk to his dad. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I still don't understand why he is so excited to talk to this man that has done what he has done. I of course never say anything to the boys about that.

However, about a week ago Alec said "Can I call the Replacements (cartoon network cartoon) and get a new dad?" I kind of giggled "Cause my dad is far away and that lady he lives with is weird." I literally had to bite my tongue. Ashton didn't say anything he just rolled his eyes....

I'm actually looking forward to the calmness of work!!

I can't even think of a great title...other than I'm still whining

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2007/01/i-cant-even-think-of-great-titleother.html

Why do they do these things to me???

Yes, I saw this at Wal-mart tonight while taking my mom grocery shopping. And yes, I had to buy it. Who needs crust??? just sit down in front of the TV and dig in.

I probably should of stopped by ladies wear on the way to the check out and got a bigger pair of jeans!!!

Speaking of ladies wear.....have you ever noticed that for smaller chested women there are hundreds of styles, colors and just cool bras??? and for the larger chested women there is only white, beige and black??? Well at least on bras that will actually work???

(no, that's not me....

if they made them big enough for me you would have to wear sunglasses)

I've been looking for a teal bra. Thought I found one at target my size and everything. It's like getting two bowling balls into a marbles sack. (yes I stole Burt Reynolds quote...just different body parts). Then I found a blueish one......wore it and now I have bruises from the underwires. I hate underwires!!!!

Any input??????

Why do they do these things to me???

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2007/01/why-do-they-do-these-things-to-me.html

Add Another Line to My Resume

In October, Ashton's bike had flat tires. I called the bike shop and they said it was a 6 week wait so I went to Wal-Mart and got some fix a flat. It was a temporary fix. Ashton had told his dad that his kick stand was wobbly and he wanted it taken off. The darling methhead told me to bring his bike down to ABQ (189 miles one way) and he would fix it. He was rather snippy and pissy about it. I told him I would take care of it myself.

Well the tires held till last week. They finally went flat again. So today we went to the bike store and asked them how long again, 9 weeks backed up. So I bought tubes and tires for the bike and he put that sealy gunk in the tubes.

On the way back home I tried calling a couple of guys that might be able to help or at least guide me thru the process. Of course they have their own lives....one didn't answer and one had his daughters cause his wife went to somewhere with her sister. His 2 daugheters are worse than 50 of my boys so I politely excused him and told him I would call if I needed phone help. Then we passed the teen and I asked him to fix Ashton's bike I had just bought the tubes and tires. He said "sure" then drove the other way. What a shocker. (I'm starting to feel like the Little Red Hen)

Anyway, we get home and we head for the garage. Flip the bike over and I take a look at my project. Ashton has one of those mountain bikes for kids.....meaning it has gears.....meaning there is a sprocket cluster on the back tire. I take off one of the guards so I can get to the nut. Get the tire loosened then it took some major finagling (did I spell that right?) to get the tire out. Finally....then there is the lovely chore of taking the tire off the rim......Got that done and got the new tire on, aired it up and all was Dougie with the world.

That is....until the front tire, which I thought would be the easiest that's why I saved it till the last. I get the nuts off and take the tire out and get the tire off. Get the new tube, put it in and start getting the tire on. It took a little longer than the back and I don't know why...but got it dun. Tried to air it up.....and it wouldn't let air go in. WHAT THE HECK!!!!! So I get a different pump, the one for the basketballs, and try it. It kinda worked but this oily stuff came out of the valve. So I load the tire in my car and head for the bike shop. And of course the bike shop was closed. I decided to try the massive air at the service station. It aired up the tire but then 2 seconds later the tire was flat. At first I had thought I had pinched the tube while getting the tire on, but I think that tube had valve issues. I blazed a trail over to K-Mart (shorter lines) and get 3 tubes....just in case.

Get home wrestle with the stupid new tire to get it off the rim. There is this slimy crap all over the inside of the tire. I am guessing it's the stop leak gunk from the other tube. Anyway, get the tube on the rim and I put a little air in it so it's more difficult to pinch the tube when getting the tire on. (I did learn something from the years of watching methhead fix AJ's bikes and dirt bikes) But, I realized I had put too much air in it. I had bought the tubes that already had the green slime in them. Did you know that when you try to let air out of tubes that are pre filled with green slime that the slime comes out the valve????

I now know this.

Anyway.....MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!

Add Another Line to My Resume

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2007/01/add-another-line-to-my-resume.html

The Unexpected Gift

On Christmas Day after we had eaten breakfast at my parents' house and done the gift thing, I was getting Christmas dinner ready at my house. When my parents got there they both walked into the kitchen where I was trying to make some organization out of the meal and my dad handed me this blue plastic case and said "I didn't want to give this to you in front of your boys" I honestly looked at the box and thought it was a Dremmel Set. Then I read the front of the box and it said "Springfield Armory". I set the box down and what was in it was my father's .45 stainless steel automatic pistol.

(Springfield Armory 1911-A1 Champion)

Right there, like right now, my eyes filled up with tears and I just looked at him and he nodded.

I just said "Daddy, I can't take your gun."

"The other .45 I have is your brother's and it's time for you to have this one."

I gave him a huge hug and told him he wasn't supposed to make me cry on Christmas. And for the first time in a long time, he actually hugged me back.

Why is this so heart felt for me???? Let me tell you....

I was raised in a home with lots of guns. I shot silhouettes competitively starting at the age of 8 with a .22 rifle. My brother also competed and actually went to the Olympic training center twice. I was raised with a great respect for guns and was taught to be responsible with them at a very young age. Guns and shooting was very much a family activity for the first 12 years of my life.

Any trip we ever went on, my father always...I mean always carried a stainless .45 with him. Not this stainless mind you, but it was always a stainless .45 automatic. When we would go to the practice range, he always let me shoot it before we went home. He always made fun that I could empty a clip faster than anyone he knew....but I always hit the target several times too. At anytime I looked at the top shelf of his closet, there was a stainless .45 right in front with the magazine beside it. Over the years my dad has had hundreds of guns, but that one was always in the front. When methhead pulled the gun on me in Smith's parking lot, I called my dad and told him what happened and that I was waiting for the police, when I got home he had the .45 out just in case methhead decided to visit.

This gun symbolizes to me the respect I have for my father, as a parent, protector and teacher, and for him to pass it on to me I hope means that I have finally earned his respect as well.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

BE SAFE!!

The Unexpected Gift

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2006/12/unexpected-gift.html

Secret Stalker at Large!!

On my last post, one of the comments said something about wishing they could of held my hand anyway. I have no idea who this is.

Because of it's sappy and Hallmark content I immediately thought it was O'Gherkin. So I made a sassy remark and he said "What???" "WHO WANTS TO HOLD YOUR HAND!!!!!" After I finished laughing I had to back track a bit and explain.

AND...... I've been getting these weird text messages from "5000" Which means someone is on the t-mobile (my service provider) and sending me text messages from there......

The one this morning said....and I quote......"THEONEFORYOU/GOOD"....I'm almost emotional....

Have you ever gotten totally pissed off when you are texting and driving down the highway at oh say 65 mph and you type in home...and it comes up "good" on the message then you have to delete and start the word over.......or...you are trying to type "me" and it pops up "of" and you don't catch it till you are like 6 lines down......

4 MORE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!!!

Secret Stalker at Large!!

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2006/12/secret-stalker-at-large.html

Pre Golden Child Babblings

Brother gets here today....go team (attempting to sound excited, and failing at it)

The little boys have been sick since Wednesday, and I had Friday off "with pay" and I was sick. So not fair!!!

I've been taking Advil since about 4 pm yesterday and it's made me overly philosophical. Medication makes me one of 3 things...philosophical, sleepy or horny. I'm glad it didn't do the last one because it's just not fair when you live alone and the only man that gets into your bed is a action figure super hero!!

Anyway, as I was zombing and thinking an amazing yet saddening thought crossed my mind....."am I difficult to love?" I don't need anyone to do things for me or to buy me things....I just want someone to love me completely and unconditionally. I'm thinking this is alot to ask. Most of the time we all like to feel needed. And being humans, we feel needed when we can do things for others. Like buying them stuff and doing difficult or tedious tasks. But those things aren't really "love", they are things that make us feel better about ourselves because we are helping those we care about. But, can't we just love someone? Can we be there for them emotionally to offer support through their difficult times without trying to fix it for them? We all need to be needed, but can we be happy to only be needed for our love and companionship? I just want someone to love me unconditionally. I wouldn't reject help in other forms, but I am not in need of them. I am, however in need of some to love me and to allow me to love them. Now I sound "loved starved". Call it what you will, it's just an observation from a sleepless and drug induced night.

I have been inside my own walled up little world for a very long time letting wounds heal and basically hidding. I have ventured out and experienced a few drops of what I want to call love and then deprived of it again. Not a great feeling,but I feel it is self induced. It is harder to have something and do without than it is to never have it to start with.

Now that I have scared everyone with a few inner thoughts.......

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!

ANY PLANS?

Pre Golden Child Babblings

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2006/11/pre-golden-child-babblings.html