Turning Over A New Leaf

NO NOT THAT ONE!!!

someone might go blind!!

• We have the whole new healthy protein based family diet going on.
• I have decided that I need to do something about the extra "fluff" on my body so I am doing Billy Blanks. Well not him personally or physically but his tae-bo work out stuff. I'm gonna be at my ideal weight!!!
• Started jogging well actually fast walking right now every morning around 5AM. There are less people out to laugh at me at that time!!!
• I'm gonna be happy no matter what!! My depressed mood is affecting and effecting my children and I can't allow that. So sad things are being pushed to the bottom dealt with or not and I am pushing thru.

Okay...those are my mini goals. I did go walking fast this morning. I felt great all morning until some office person got moody and then I just sat and stared at my screen.

I also played virtual greeting card tag with the contractor guy. I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks and it was fun, until it suddenly stopped. I know he probably got busy but my loneliness is overwhelming at times. I need to learn to not take what people say to heart and realize that most of the time sweet words are just ways of flirting not true reflections of what they truly mean or feel. Just because I say what I mean or feel and am honest about it all doesn't mean that everyone is that way. I just need to chill--I'm working on it.

What is the purpose of a FWB?? I mean can you tell me that women can have a sexual relationship with a guy and not get emotionally attached in some degree?? I don't think either partner can actually do that....but who knows. I need to be schooled in modern life I guess.

I cancelled the trip to Vegas due to Alec's blood sugar issues. But my boys will see Hoover Dam in the year 2007!!! As Bob as my witness they will!!

I think we will take a overnight trip to Albuquerque next week during spring break. It will be just me and the little boys--AJ doesn't want to go there. I called their dad to see if there was a night that we could all have dinner or something short and simple. He now wants to skip some of his classes and hang out the entire time we are there.

I told him no. He said why. I basically told him that this is my vacation too and my idea of a vacation is not hauling my ex-husband and his wife around all over Albuquerque and being made to feel uncomfortable in my own vehicle!!! He didn't get it. I guess he thinks I should feel privileged to be seen with him or something. Or maybe because I am still alone I should just accept my place. I don't know.....but I do know that I am not spending all day with him and methwife on MY vacation. I will do one meal for the boys sake.

When O'Gherkin and I were on speaking terms I told him that if I ever get married again I will have a real wedding dress. (I've never had one) and he actually understood. I've told other guys that and hey just look at me like I'm talking like the teacher from Peanuts. It's funny that the people that truly understand you are the ones you get in the most fights with. You know each other so well that you can push the buttons or do like I did and avoid the fight and hide.

Okay...I think my flashback is over........I'm gonna watch CSI Las Vegas

PEACE OUT!!

Turning Over A New Leaf

http://peebugg.blogspot.com/2007/03/turning-over-new-leaf.html