Aftermath aka Lessons Learned
Back again...before I start on this I took the boys to IHOP for breakfast. Ashton is obviously not over the stomach flu cause he started throwing up in the restaurant. I'm sure we helped their business this morning!!!
Back to the grunge---
After moving out I spent 18 months at my parents house for several reasons. The two main ones were money and safety. Meth-man stalked me and had me followed. At the time his friends thought I was the meth-addict because that is what he told them. He had said that I left with the kids because he wouldn't get high and have sex with me!!! HA-HA to those that have ever seen me, I am obviously not a meth-addict and besides I don't do pills well I can't imagine being on Meth......I don't want to imagine being on meth.
We went to domestic violence court, where he told the "judge" and all 300 people in there that I had had 6 abortions in the last 9 months, I was sleeping with gang members to get meth, and that he had recorded footage of me having sex with 3 guys at once and you could hear the boys pounding on the bedroom door crying for milk. My lawyer just about fell out of his chair and asked if he could produce the video and meth-man said yes. The judge never required it. But he lied on the stand and they did nothing to him, he was sworn in...aaaaaggghhhhh...pisses me off. She granted him an overnight visit with the boys on his days off. I would drop them off at 7 am and then he would return them at 7 pm the next night. This lasted about 6 visits. Everytime they would come home they were filthy and starved. The fifth and sixth visits he forgot to pick up Ashton at school and his teacher had to call me to come get him. Fourth visit is when the gun thing happened at Smiths. I didn't take them back to him for a while after that, but back to court we went and she continued to grant him visitation. Even after the gun episode with an eye witness (a guy in the parking lot stepped forward) and countless pictures of dirty children, Alec with a diaper rash so bad it was bleeding and one of his neighbor's testimony that the children were not being looked after and there was a lot of suspicious traffic at all hours of the night. Finally, he didn't have a car so I didn't have to take them over there. His life quickly went down hill and we were allowed to get on with ours.
18 months after our leaving and filing for divorce the judge finally declared us divorced. I received full custody and visitation was when I deemed it safe and reasonable. I don't ever want to lose that!!
I have learned a lot through all of this, mainly who the real people are in my world. Those who care and those who just think it's part of life. I have no tolerance for drugs of any kind, even over the counters can be abused. I don't allow any type of negative environments around my boys and I don't let them feel like lesser people because they don't have a father. I don't lie about the things he as done and I never will.
Its amazing the strength you can have when needed. It is written that God will never give you more than you can deal with, sometimes I think He pushes it a little.
Back to the grunge---
After moving out I spent 18 months at my parents house for several reasons. The two main ones were money and safety. Meth-man stalked me and had me followed. At the time his friends thought I was the meth-addict because that is what he told them. He had said that I left with the kids because he wouldn't get high and have sex with me!!! HA-HA to those that have ever seen me, I am obviously not a meth-addict and besides I don't do pills well I can't imagine being on Meth......I don't want to imagine being on meth.
We went to domestic violence court, where he told the "judge" and all 300 people in there that I had had 6 abortions in the last 9 months, I was sleeping with gang members to get meth, and that he had recorded footage of me having sex with 3 guys at once and you could hear the boys pounding on the bedroom door crying for milk. My lawyer just about fell out of his chair and asked if he could produce the video and meth-man said yes. The judge never required it. But he lied on the stand and they did nothing to him, he was sworn in...aaaaaggghhhhh...pisses me off. She granted him an overnight visit with the boys on his days off. I would drop them off at 7 am and then he would return them at 7 pm the next night. This lasted about 6 visits. Everytime they would come home they were filthy and starved. The fifth and sixth visits he forgot to pick up Ashton at school and his teacher had to call me to come get him. Fourth visit is when the gun thing happened at Smiths. I didn't take them back to him for a while after that, but back to court we went and she continued to grant him visitation. Even after the gun episode with an eye witness (a guy in the parking lot stepped forward) and countless pictures of dirty children, Alec with a diaper rash so bad it was bleeding and one of his neighbor's testimony that the children were not being looked after and there was a lot of suspicious traffic at all hours of the night. Finally, he didn't have a car so I didn't have to take them over there. His life quickly went down hill and we were allowed to get on with ours.
18 months after our leaving and filing for divorce the judge finally declared us divorced. I received full custody and visitation was when I deemed it safe and reasonable. I don't ever want to lose that!!
I have learned a lot through all of this, mainly who the real people are in my world. Those who care and those who just think it's part of life. I have no tolerance for drugs of any kind, even over the counters can be abused. I don't allow any type of negative environments around my boys and I don't let them feel like lesser people because they don't have a father. I don't lie about the things he as done and I never will.
Its amazing the strength you can have when needed. It is written that God will never give you more than you can deal with, sometimes I think He pushes it a little.
posted by peebugg at 11:08 AM
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