11/11/2005

The Stuff Life Is Made Of

My friend Lisa called today. Really caught me off guard, she never calls anymore. Our lives are too busy and going in separate ways to connect too much.

She was there for me the last two hellish years of my marriage. She was a great support beacon and could always make me laugh. I know you are going to find this shocking, but I don't deal with non-happy feelings. I don't talk about them well at the time and I flat out just don't like them. I don't freak or anything....I actually clam up...

Anyway, there was a reason she called. She and her boyfriend/live-in/business partner of 2 years had split up last week. Her mother died two years ago and she really hasn't dealt with that yet and she has been quite a beast. But, he knew about all of this and still stayed with her and actually she has been getting better kinda on the mend. And then he didn't come home a few nights. She found out that he had been shacking up with some chick he met at Outback Steakhouse.

We talked for a long time, she was asking me questions about what she should do. FLASHBACK!! Shit...I hate flashbacks........

Meth-man and I got married in December and on our first Valentine's Day, I left work about 9 am. Cause he was working morning tower and wasn't home yet when I left for work. I was going to surprise him. I drive up and his truck is there.....go to unlock the door and the bolt is on, very weird...but I unlocked it too. As I come in the front door, I hear the covers moving.....I jump around the conor and shout "HAPPY VALENTINES DAY" and a girl rolls out of the bed and goes into my bathroom. He is drunk and passed out......I am in shock...freaking.....

I take the cinnamon roll I had bought him out of the bag and smear it on his face. He wakes up and sees me and kinda freaks but doesn't get is cheating body out of bed. My eyes are filled with tears and I just look at him and shake my head. I leave and go back to work. The old, very old, lady I worked with upstairs saw my freaked out state and asked me what was wrong. I told her, I was crying sobbing.....doing the weird breathing thing....the whole nine yards.... Her advice to me was "If you truly love him Beth, you will look the other way and forget about what you saw". Dumb-ass me did it. I forgave him and never brought it up to him again. I never forgot though.

Anyway.... I tell Lisa this and she said that she could forgive him. Then I asked her if she could bury it and never bring it up again. She didn't answer. She calls me cause she knows I won't baby her. I will be straight forward, which at times can hurt. I hope they work it out, they work well with each other in all areas.

I am a strong believer in true love. But after what I've been through I have learned that just because you love some one with all your heart doesn't mean they love you that way. Which sucks.....but is a part of being a human.

I am older and wiser now. I take life a lot less seriously and I laugh a lot more. (I have too). I am so looking forward for the fairy tale to happen to me. To actually have someone love you as much as you love them. (yeah..I'm mushy...sorry)

3 Comments:

Blogger drama mama said...

He cheated on you in the first 2 months???? I would have had a big problem forgiving and forgetting that! In fact, I'd probably have booted his naked body out the door!

I hope things go ok with your friend. What a nightmare!

11/11/2005 2:25 PM  
Blogger peebugg said...

Had I only known then what I know now....

But then I wouldn't have these two ultimatly cool little creatures that bounce on me every moment they can......

11/11/2005 4:21 PM  
Blogger Maethelwine said...

I think the real moral of the story is this; never buy your man a cinnamon roll for Valentine's Day. Stick with heavy cloth sacks full of jawbreakers. Just in case you need to swing something.

11/11/2005 8:14 PM  

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