I have MAJOR guilt

I feel like a horrible mother...

Ashton got sick about 4 this morning. He yelled at me from the top of the stairs. I got up and he didn't make it down stairs and threw up on the stairs... I told him to go lay down on the couch and I cleaned it up. After I finished I went to check on him and he was asleep so I went back to bed. I should of stayed with him. I really wasn't thinking clearly at the time.

Then he got sick again and did make it to the bathroom, but he locked the door and I couldn't get in there. But I also didn't make him unlock the door. Right now I feel like I should of made him unlock it--although I am not sure what help I could be......

I just talked to him about it.....and of course he thinks I am insane and really has no idea what I am talking about.

But the guilt is still lingering---I feel that since he isn't a huge cuddlier, he misses out on a lot of needed attention or oh...I don't know....guilt has set in......


Blogger Dave said...

It's hard to think straight at 4 in the morning.

We all goof... it's part of being alive.


UGH! Got my shoes!

3/13/2006 6:27 PM  
Blogger Dubs said...

Nooo the guilt we feel as moms must go. You love your son. He knows it. Embrace what you Do know do NOT be attacked by the unknown.


3/14/2006 5:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, walkthisways mom here...from time to time I pop in, but I let her do all her own talking. Sometimes its alot!
Anyway, she never tells you about my guilt. A barf incident would be the least, but its funny how they have no clue why your heart is breaking. I think just HAVING kids makes you feel guilty somehow. Whether its just that you needed a few moments alone and ignored them or you were not prepared to bring them home, it ranges from big to little and never seems to end. Im already gearing up for the guilt I am about to receive with the new sibling.
And hell, Im actually going into this one knowing something! When my first baby girl came, I had no clue what I was in for! Im glad she has been as happy and wonderful as she has been! I couldnt have been a good mother without her. She really inspires me to love, but she has no idea the guilt that goes along with motherhood.
Anyway, at the end of the day, let it go. Your baby still loves you and you still love your baby..."always and forever"

3/14/2006 7:22 AM  
Anonymous my2groupies said...

I still have guilt about last Sat. night! My 4 year old told me just before bed that his stomch hurt - I had a fleeting thought of puke but dimissed it eagerly. Well 2 hours later he did....all over his sister in my bed!!! Why didn't I listen to his stomach problem?! guilt rageing guilt!

3/14/2006 7:38 AM  
Blogger Aiden Witmore said...

i did laugh, but im still cnfused. like, going outside and changing my mind? im sorry, but this is going over my head.
tho, you cant change your mind inside. and if you do, it needs careful thought, and lots of planning ahead. something im not that great at. i just...do stuff.

yeah. im toolazy to delete them. i'll do it later.

sigh, i did change my name back. i thought about it, and then thought about myself, and i went back thru some old notebooks, and old posts the other day, and decided that everyone should walk my way.
and so far i've got some people walking my way. it just fit, you know?

3/14/2006 4:43 PM  

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