4/06/2005

Child Support/Visitation Issues

I am a true believer in both parents helping raise the children. But, things like divorce happen!!!

I think that both parents should, in a perfect world, be part of everything in the child's or children's life. Meaning school activities, doctor's visits, sporting events and anything else that comes along. But they should also be part of the financial responsibility, being a good role model and the discipline plan.

Of course this rarely happens. In my situation, my two younger boys' dad wants to be a part of their life but we are to cater to him. He doesn't have a car, has never paid child support and has been in and out of jail for the past 3 years with the possibility of going to prison. So, if the boys want to see him, I have to drive down to his trailer (gross and dirty), pick him up and bring him back to my house. I will not leave the boys with him due to the environment, lack of transportation in case of an emergency and his past actions. But, I was allowing visitation and not receiving child support.

His actions around the boys proved to be a bad influence (for lack of a better phrase). Ashton, my 7 year old, has been greatly affected by his father's paranoia. He would not take a bath by himself or go into a room by himself. After 18 months of counseling, he is on the mend. So what to do?? Allow visitation again and risk my children's mental health or say no?

Legally, he has visitation rights even if he doesn't pay child support. I don't agree with this. If you want to be a part of your child's life you should be a part of their whole life not just the fun stuff. If you want to be a parent you can't be just half of one, it's not fair to the child. His view point is that he should have to pay to see his kids and he refuses to give me money just because he slept with me. (I rephrased this due to foul language on his part).

I am seriously considering supervised visitation with Ashton's counselor present. And then he will have to pay the councelor bill for the visitation.

Any suggestions????

posted by peebugg at 9:21 AM