This Weekend's Intense and Awkward Conversations
The blunt truth that comes out of children's mouths.....is a blessing and an eye opener.
Friday night as we were sitting at the dinner table, Alec put down his fork and put his hand under his chin, leaned on the table and looked at me and then said "Mom, what is love?"
He looked so serious, no silly smile or anything...just his simple question.
My answer was, "It's when you care for someone very much and you want to take care of them."
"Like you take care of us?"
"Yes, like that. I love all of you boys very much and would do anything for you and always try to take the best care of you."
"Daddy doesn't take care of us, so he doesn't love us?"
"Daddy loves you, he (pause) needs to try to take care of himself."
"Do squirrels eat acorns?"
Whew...thank goodness for the subject change!!!!!
Then meth-head called on Saturday. I wouldn't converse with him, I just told him hold on and let me try to find the boys. While I was searching the front yard he tried to talk, but I was pretty frigid. Finally found the boys and gave the phone to Ashton, after about 2 minutes he said "Dad, mom got us new gloves and I really need to go pull weeds. Bye" and he hands the phone to Alec.
Alec says: (the side I heard)
"Hi Dad"
"I'm fine, are you still in jail?"
"Your out of jail?" "Mom, dad is out of jail!"
"Dad, I've never known you out of jail"
"Mom, he is in Albwerclerkey" (supposed to be Albuquerque)
"I have to go dad, Ashton is pulling weeds without me" hands me the phone.
I can't hold in my laughter. He didn't think any of it was funny. He then asked if he could call later in the week. I told him that we have to set up a routine so the boys know what to expect so he needs to call on the weekends and only one call and it needs to be every weekend or every other weekend but it must be consistent.
He gets pissy and says "that's all going to change when I get up there, I will have my boys!"
"Talk to the judge" is all I said and I hung up.
By the divorce agreement, his visitation is up to me and when I deem it safe and appropriate. So, I am going this week to the best divorce lawyer in town (I should of used him the first time) and get a consultation. That way meth head can't even try to use him....because I was there first.
Saturday night Ashton asked
"Mom, what's suicide?"
"It's when someone kills themselves"
"How do they do that?"
"Well, there are many different ways. Some people use guns, some take too many pills, some people cut themselves. Do you remember when your dad tried to kill himself?" (He did this several different times and always made a huge drama scene in front of the boys)
"No, but I remember him trying to kill you." I tear comes to my eye, I bite my lip and look down.
"Well, yes that was not a nice moment was it?"
"No, I don't know why he kept doing that. Can we go ride our bikes on the street?"
"Sure, let me get the phone."
Anything to change the subject.........
It was that last conversation that made me realize that I had been cranky towards everyone after talking to meth-head.
Friday night as we were sitting at the dinner table, Alec put down his fork and put his hand under his chin, leaned on the table and looked at me and then said "Mom, what is love?"
He looked so serious, no silly smile or anything...just his simple question.
My answer was, "It's when you care for someone very much and you want to take care of them."
"Like you take care of us?"
"Yes, like that. I love all of you boys very much and would do anything for you and always try to take the best care of you."
"Daddy doesn't take care of us, so he doesn't love us?"
"Daddy loves you, he (pause) needs to try to take care of himself."
"Do squirrels eat acorns?"
Whew...thank goodness for the subject change!!!!!
Then meth-head called on Saturday. I wouldn't converse with him, I just told him hold on and let me try to find the boys. While I was searching the front yard he tried to talk, but I was pretty frigid. Finally found the boys and gave the phone to Ashton, after about 2 minutes he said "Dad, mom got us new gloves and I really need to go pull weeds. Bye" and he hands the phone to Alec.
Alec says: (the side I heard)
"Hi Dad"
"I'm fine, are you still in jail?"
"Your out of jail?" "Mom, dad is out of jail!"
"Dad, I've never known you out of jail"
"Mom, he is in Albwerclerkey" (supposed to be Albuquerque)
"I have to go dad, Ashton is pulling weeds without me" hands me the phone.
I can't hold in my laughter. He didn't think any of it was funny. He then asked if he could call later in the week. I told him that we have to set up a routine so the boys know what to expect so he needs to call on the weekends and only one call and it needs to be every weekend or every other weekend but it must be consistent.
He gets pissy and says "that's all going to change when I get up there, I will have my boys!"
"Talk to the judge" is all I said and I hung up.
By the divorce agreement, his visitation is up to me and when I deem it safe and appropriate. So, I am going this week to the best divorce lawyer in town (I should of used him the first time) and get a consultation. That way meth head can't even try to use him....because I was there first.
Saturday night Ashton asked
"Mom, what's suicide?"
"It's when someone kills themselves"
"How do they do that?"
"Well, there are many different ways. Some people use guns, some take too many pills, some people cut themselves. Do you remember when your dad tried to kill himself?" (He did this several different times and always made a huge drama scene in front of the boys)
"No, but I remember him trying to kill you." I tear comes to my eye, I bite my lip and look down.
"Well, yes that was not a nice moment was it?"
"No, I don't know why he kept doing that. Can we go ride our bikes on the street?"
"Sure, let me get the phone."
Anything to change the subject.........
It was that last conversation that made me realize that I had been cranky towards everyone after talking to meth-head.
posted by peebugg at 2:59 PM
3 Comments:
Hi
I was wondering who is the best divorce lawyer in Fmn. Not for me but for a friend.
Kids are like sponges absorbing from their surroundings. I am sorry you and your children have to go through this. You sound like a strong and focused person. You're doing a great job!
Amanda
What a great site »
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